An Open Letter To Donald Trump From A Hospice Volunteer

Mr. Trump,

Wow.  Over the past few months I have heard you make racist, misogynistic (that’s “cruel to women”, as your advisers must have told you by now), cruel & inappropriate comments in your speeches, one debate and interviews.  I’ve watched you disrespect immigrants, African-Americans, women, people with special needs & veterans.  Today, however, I saw part of a speech in which you thought it was funny to demean the TERMINALLY ILL.  This soundbite, Mr. Trump, proved to me exactly how callous & unfeeling you really are.  You are so narcissistic & out of touch that I honestly have no clue how millions of Americans could come to the conclusion that you have their best interests & those of our nation as a whole, at heart.

Let me repeat the demographic you felt it was ok to joke about – the TERMINALLY ILL.  Terminally ill people have been given the heartbreaking news that their life is ENDING.  There is no realistic hope left or they have made the courageous decision to forego further treatment because the disease has progressed so far.  Many of those people will be placed in hospice care, some in their homes, some in hospitals and others in nursing homes.

I have a few questions for you, if you will oblige, and you will because you have no platform, in this instance, to interrupt me:

Have you, sir, ever been with someone while waiting for a doctor to come in & tell them if a tumor is benign or malignant?  Have you been with someone and felt the palpable anxiety in the room while you or your loved one waited to hear if their disease has progressed? Because I have.  And it isn’t funny.

Have you ever sat with a dying person so their caregiver could attend their child’s school program, church or an event that the patient might also like to attend but cannot go because they are too weak to even lift their head?  I have. Many times.

Have you ever comforted an Alzheimer’s patient who suddenly realized their caregiver, one of the only constants remaining in their brain, is gone temporarily & you are there instead?  I have. It’s heartbreaking.

Have you ever sat with a terminal patient while their spouse went for an MRI to see if they too have terminal cancer?  I have. The stress on them is unimaginable.

Do you have any idea what it is like to get your nutrition through a tube because you are terminal & can’t eat real food & likely won’t ever again?  I didn’t think so.  I haven’t either, thank God. We are fortunate.

Have you ever had the indignity of having someone help you into your adult diaper because you can no longer make it to your toilet?  Your toilet that isn’t gold, by the way.  I haven’t but I have been that helper and it’s humbling.

Have you ever volunteered for a “volunteer vigil”?  That’s what it’s called when someone’s death is imminent & they have no relatives or friends to hold their hand when they die? None.  No one.  They are going to die alone.  I haven’t had the courage to do that yet but volunteers across America do it every single day & the furthest thing from their mind, as that person takes their final breath, is electing you.

I’m not sure what is more disturbing —- the fact that you actually made the remarks or the fact that there was an audience applauding as you did.  You said, and I quote:

“I don’t care how sick you are…”

“It’s over.”

“You’ve received the worst possible prognosis…”

“Hang around!  Get out & vote!”

Terminally ill people don’t “hang around”.  They attempt to cherish every last moment with their families & friends while trying to stay coherent & fight the pain.  They won’t be thinking of voting, Mr. Trump, and they won’t be thinking of you.  I realize the kind of people you surround yourself with.  They will make excuses for your inexcusable behavior & demean Hillary in response.  They will spout some bullshit about how you’re going to make America great again.  Mr. Trump, the America I live in is great right now.  It’s great because of citizens who are compassionate & care for their fellow citizens, terminal & living & not because of narcissistic bigots like you.

But I can promise you, Mr. Trump, as a relatively healthy person, that in November, I WILL get out and vote.

Sincerely,

Noelle Buttry

(Note:  I would have included the video, but does he really need anymore airtime?)

9 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Donald Trump From A Hospice Volunteer

  1. Ashley says:

    Well said.

  2. Norm swafford says:

    Written by my daughter Noelle. Very proud of you kid. Well written as usual

  3. Marsha Montgomery says:

    Any man who can cut off health care for his great nephew who has cerebral palsy, can do anything… (He did this in the early 90s after Donald’s father died and the nephew challenged the will because he was omitted through influence of Donald on Donald’s father, the baby’s great grandfather.) But a big part of being narcissistic is that you don’t care about anyone unless they can benefit you! Only a narcissist would think that a dying person would have “them” on their mind when they are dying.

  4. Gordon Kumpuris says:

    Well written and shared on my wall.

  5. Lori Samuels says:

    Noelle, you are truly gifted in capturing words and images that convey the most beautiful and brutal realities. I am crying while reading your emotional and passionate description that brings back the haunting yet precious memories of helping care for my aunt in hospice 18 months ago as she was losing her battle with an inoperable neuroblastoma (brain tumor) and was a shadow of her former vibrant and lovely self. I won’t even mention the a-hole’s name in this post because he doesn’t deserve to be associated with the memory of my precious aunt Lorna.

    Thank you for expressing exactly what it is like to sit by the side of a person bravely fighting to the very end of their life.
    Much love,
    Lori

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