It’s a hard, freaking world to stay positive in. I don’t watch the news, I don’t watch debates, I generally attempt to avoid things in my life that cause undue stress from negativity. (Sarcasm, folks is not negativity. Or it’s at least a very acceptable, entertaining form of it, so don’t go there.) Just today, in fact, I walked out of a convenience store when the skinny, white clerk and the obese, white clerk got into a tiff over a drawer being short $41.00, while the nice, African-American manager was trying to diffuse the situation with humor and basically make the point that it’s no big deal. His attitude was that the problem would be found and we could all go our separate ways and not leave any ripped-out strands of hair, nose rings or torn flesh on the counter for me to accidentally pick up with my 2 giant King Size Kit Kat bars and Evian water. (Maybe I made that last part up, except for the candy bars & Evian, they were real.) I just don’t want to endure such as that. You want to know what I want to endure? THIS:
I want to wake up happy, which I usually do. Joyous, in fact, if Chuck is willing at 6 a.m. I want my kids to get up without my hounding and remember their lunches and homework as they exit the building. I don’t want them to call me from school unless they are sick. And by sick I mean near death to the point that they cannot pick themselves up off the floor and have gone to the nurse’s office. WTF with letting kids just call parents to come and get them? Did not happen in my day. Have some balls, school administrators. Unless truly ill, they’re yours from 8-3. Next, I do not want to have to call the effing attendance office because my daughter “needs” to check out early. Next year, I’m going to prank call them sometimes just for shits and grins. Because I’ll miss being talked down to like an I’m an idiot when my eldest goes off to college. Someone will have to fill in for her. The attendance office is great at that so I figure I’ll just pretend to have a kid there or randomly check out your children when I feel like it. And they will talk down to me and it will make me miss Ryder so much I’ll send her a care package.
I don’t want to wonder if people are mad at me because I send them specific questions and lunch invites via text and they just ignore them. No one is too busy to answer a text. Maybe you can’t answer immediately but eventually during the day we all have time to answer texts. Even if just to say, “Hey thanks, I’d love to, but I’m busy blowing a congressman.” I mean, if you go to the toilet AT ALL in the course of a day, you have time to answer texts. Not doing so is the height of rudeness. (Answering texts, that is. Not going to the toilet is your own business.) If I even take the time to text you, I consider you one of my closest friends, so be nice to me and don’t play games. SIDE NOTES: I cut people slack on texts that are just informative, funny or a statement of declaration. No need to answer, though it’s sometimes nice. Question texts are my topic here. It’s like ignoring someone standing next to you.
I also don’t want to have to spend an inordinate amount of time on homework with the kids. Actually I don’t want to spend any time on it at all because no one ever helped me with the little homework I ever had. I want them to come home and play and have fun and be kids and maybe study for their spelling words or a test but constructing some food item to look like alveoli or pancreatic juices is not a project for kids. It’s a project for kids and parents to do together. And I guarantee you they will never use anything that they learn in the process of doing that project again unless they leave the oven on and then Chuck will NEVER let them forget that you ALWAYS TURN OFF THE OVEN. I also don’t want “partner projects” where I have to organize a “study date” that I ordinarily wouldn’t have to organize, with a kid I barely know, who probably picks his nose , has lice, or hates my dog. What educational scholar started this craze? More on this in a later blog entry.
If I get on Facebook, I just want to make people smile or let them know that my meal is better than theirs 🙂 I don’t care what they think about politics (& no one is changing their mind on the issues near to their heart so why go there?), I don’t care who’s puking and who’s got all A’s. I just like to be entertained. I like to see vacation pictures and I love to see a goat singing along with Taylor Swift. But lately I just see bickering so freaking much. So I’m thinking Facebook might not be the place for me. At least not as often. I’m taking a full 5-day fast to see if I survive. After, I’ll get back on, hopefully not as much, and let you know. Blog entries are set to automatically link so it’s possible those will come through on FB anyway, even in my absence. Enjoy.
I want to come home after carpool to a rather peaceful home, where I can prepare dinner for a family who all eats the same thing and sits down with a dad who is home on time. I don’t want to go to yet another season of baseball practices where I’m faced with a whole new set of people who I have to hope judge me for who I am and not what people have said I am. I want to be able to agree on television shows to watch in the evenings, be able to sit and read or stitch quietly while the kids play and then everyone go to bed without having to be cajoled or pulled by a mule or threatened with a potato masher (hey, sometimes it’s all that’s near). I want my kids to brush their dang teeth, reapply deodorant, not get up 7 times, not decide they need another meal at 9 p.m. (which I will NOT cook), I want them to say a little prayer that their mom acquires patience & prescription refills and not have their friggin’ phone on speaker when they talk to their friends at 11 p.m.
I ask a lot, I know. I always have. Chuck says I expect a lot from people, and I do. Why? Because I give a lot in return, damn it. But when it comes down to it in the end, all I ask is that people be respectful and nice. And laugh. I’m a good friend. I’m just having a rather depressing time dealing with parenting and friendship lately and wanting things to be easier than I’m finding them to be. I don’t think I have ever been around more adults in my life who let little things come between friendship and love. I don’t ever mean to anger people on purpose. Bear with me on this and hopefully a short break and a vacation will have me in a better frame of mind soon. Until then, hug each other, love each other and remember why you were friends with people in the first place.
And stop friggin’ debating politics on social media.
This made me laugh, Kerri! Thanks!
I know exactly how u feel. U ever want a texting partner u have my number. Wished we lived closer. I never knew as a child the friend I was missing in not being a close friend with u. >>> Kicking self in the shin or ass (u decide). LOL Hurry up 5 days so u can be posting ur silly sarcasm that I so LOVE! I love u my friend and am honored to call u friend. Come visit St Louis soon. Just a wknd get away and we can go rampant on alcohol and prescription pills LOL (jk only) and BREATHE!
What Case said.
I wondered where you were. I missed you 😉