Just a few of my random hopes for the new year. I’m a bit late with this list, but better late than not at all. I think.
* With the upcoming postal cuts, I’m hoping my mail lady is reassigned to Uzbekistan. She needs to be around people who like to drink vodka.
* That Sarah, Megan & Kellie move their asses back to the Natural State. I don’t ask much.
* That Kristi Malzahn gets the help she so apparently needs.
* That someone invents the help that Kristi Malzahn apparently needs.
* That Ke$ha has peaked.
* That JD becomes a nice place to play ball again.
* That hell freezes over. (see afore-mentioned hope).
* That no waiter anywhere gives me Diet Coke instead of Coke. NOT ONE.
* That bacon continues to get the recognition it has long deserved.
* That Congress gets down to business & votes in a weight limit on stretch pants. Really, people.
* That the government gets out of our kids’ lunch boxes & realizes you can’t legislate stupidity, except, of course, in the case of stretch pants.
* That I learn patience. So Chuck doesn’t need to drink a lot of vodka.
* That I have walked my final walk through a Toys R Us or Chuck E Cheese.
* That network execs realize we don’t want reality. We want to see Charlie’s Angels re-runs, and M*A*S*H and Gunsmoke re……just me? Ok.
* That Katy Perry & Demi Moore find true love, though not necessarily with each other.
* That I learn to embrace the sound of ukelele music.
* That televised debates of any kind cease to exist.
* That we continue to enjoy the love & fellowship of good friends & family.
* And finally, my number one hope for 2012 is NO KIDNEY STONES!