My Hopes for 2012

Just a few of my random hopes for the new year.  I’m a bit late with this list, but better late than not at all.  I think.

*  With the upcoming postal cuts, I’m hoping my mail lady is reassigned to Uzbekistan.  She needs to be around people who like to drink vodka.

*  That Sarah, Megan & Kellie move their asses back to the Natural State.  I don’t ask much.

*  That Kristi Malzahn gets the help she so apparently needs.

*  That someone invents the help that Kristi Malzahn apparently needs.

*  That Ke$ha has peaked.

*  That JD becomes a nice place to play ball again.

*  That hell freezes over. (see afore-mentioned hope).

*  That no waiter anywhere gives me Diet Coke instead of Coke.  NOT ONE.

*  That bacon continues to get the recognition it has long deserved.

*  That Congress gets down to business & votes in a weight limit on stretch pants.  Really, people.

*  That the government gets out of our kids’ lunch boxes & realizes you can’t legislate stupidity, except, of course, in the case of stretch pants.

*  That I learn patience.  So Chuck doesn’t need to drink a lot of vodka.

*  That I have walked my final walk through a Toys R Us or Chuck E Cheese.

*  That network execs realize we don’t want reality. We want to see Charlie’s Angels re-runs, and M*A*S*H and Gunsmoke re……just me? Ok.

*  That Katy Perry & Demi Moore find true love, though not necessarily with each other.

*  That I learn to embrace the sound of ukelele music.

*  That televised debates of any kind cease to exist.

*  That we continue to enjoy the love & fellowship of good friends & family.

*  And finally, my number one hope for 2012 is NO KIDNEY STONES!

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