So, I took 4 days off Facebook. I have to say, I missed the interaction with friends I wouldn’t normally be able to interact with. BUT, I wasn’t back too long (like 45 seconds) before it was getting on my nerves again. If I created a “Holy Facebook” would some of you who do nothing but preach the Bible go over there? And perhaps a “Political Facebook” for those of you who like to argue to the point of futility? I digress.
This is what I did while I was gone. And these are some things I would have said, had I been on Facebook (in italics):
*I enjoyed some uninterrupted, silent stitching time. I made progress on my vintage winter crewel kit that reminds me of Keystone, CO, where we spent Christmas this year.
*I got a great new bench for my entryway and assembled what little there was to assemble MYSELF, thank you.
*I had the carpet cleaned. Guy didn’t do as great of a job as my regular guy so, screw you, Groupon. Wait, it looks like Groupon IS screwed.
*“Barnes & Noble sales fell this quarter. No one can blame me for that one.”
*Overheard at our house. Brooks: ”Moooooom! Ryder ordered a fake squirrel head on the internet!”
*I ordered a swimsuit but the one I REALLY wanted was out of stock. Damn you, Garnet Hill shoppers.
*“Know what is more annoying than a reformed smoker? Someone who doesn’t do Facebook. That’s right. Chuck.”
*I watched “The Help” again with Chuck because he had not seen it. He liked it too. I love that movie.
*I locked myself out of the house so I went to Chuck’s office to get the key. By the time I got back, Ryder was home from school and had locked me out again by locking the deadbolt, which I don’t have a key to. Needless to say, I WOKE her.
*“Let there be peace on Earth. And let it begin with my kids getting their asses in bed and going to sleep.”
*I had a date night with Chuck at YaYa’s Eurobistro. I freaking love date nights with my husband. And he bought me shoes while we waited!
*“Would all the transvaginal mesh victims please come forward so the commercials will freaking end?”
*Commercial: “Do you or a loved one use an IUD for birth control?” What else would I use it for – a slingshot?
*Overheard at our house: ”Chuck: You know….the parting of the Red Sea. Wyatt: Party at the Red Sea?” Yes, we go to the Christian school.
*Spent two and a half hours in a dental chair starting the process of getting two veneers replaced with crowns. Fun.
*“Donning my bullet proof vest to go to the mall and purchase a bra.”
*Cooked two great meals. Pioneer Woman’s pan-fried pork chops and Rigatoni Bake. Someday I’ll share the rigatoni recipe. It’s painfully easy and far from gourmet! Chuck gave the pork chops very high marks 
*I ordered a new slipcovered loveseat for our tiny den. It hasn’t shipped but when it arrives I’ll be in heaven because I can watch Investigation Discovery while the rest of my family flips between the Razorbacks and something like Worst Cooks in America or Dual Survival. And before you start in on it being snow white, TALK TO THE HAND. My friend highly recommends it because it can be washed and bleached. So, no, I don’t think white is a bad choice. Hush.
See, YOU DIDN”T MISS MUCH.
